25 Ways to Stop Feeling Overworked and Overwhelmed

There seems to be an outbreak of overwhelm on this planet.  Everyone believes they have to be busy, on the internet, and on the go every second.

When you feel overworked and overwhelmed, stop and listen to the stories you’re telling yourself about your time, your work, and your life.  In order to change your feelings, you have to change your thoughts.  You could say that your problem with overwhelm is all in your head!

We forget that life happens in the moment.  Nothing else is real.  We only have to live in the now and work on one thing at a time.

Overwhelm doesn’t exist.  It’s an illusion – a story we tell ourselves that offers us an excuse to get out of what we don’t want to do or don’t think we can do.

But we can choose to live our lives one choice and moment at a time.  If you’ve been feeling overworked and overwhelmed lately, the tips below are for you.

1. Begin each day by doing your most difficult task first.  Set your timer for 30 minutes and begin.  Usually that’s all it takes to get going.  Work until time is up.  You’ll feel less distraction and fear.  You’ll have progress to celebrate.  And with momentum behind you, you’ll be ready to take the next step forward.
2. Be proactive and get organized.  Clear unnecessary clutter.  Eliminate all but the essential that gives you value.  Organization isn’t about perfection; it’s about efficiency, reducing stress and clutter, saving time and money and improving your overall quality of life.  And be sure to take 15 minutes at the end of your day to clear off your desk; then list your three most important tasks for the following day.
3. Manage your energy.  Everything around us is made up of energy.  To attract positive things into your life, start by giving off positive energy.  Once you’re in the positive, the secret to getting ahead is to focus all of your energy not on fixing and fighting the old, but on building and growing something new.
4. Take one day at a time.  No matter what’s happening, anyone can efficiently fight the battles of just one day.  It’s only when you add the battles of those two abysmal eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that life gets overwhelmingly complicated.  (Read The Power of Now.)
5. Tame perfectionism.  Stop over-thinking and over-analyzing everything.  Do your best and surrender the rest.  Let go.  So many creations and inventions never come to fruition because we spend too much time thinking and not enough time doing.  And then, once we begin “doing,” we never think what we’re doing is good enough.  Like overwhelm, perfection is an illusion.
6. Get over feeling like everything is so important.  It isn’t.  Stop overworking yourself.  Don’t exaggerate the importance of things.  Learn to say no to others so you can say yes to yourself.  Learn to go with your own flow.
7. Remind yourself that you are good enough.  Keep a success journal.  Note what you got right.  Celebrate what goes good.  Create the feeling of success in your mind.  Visualize the end result that you want to see.
8. Be mindful while you work.  Allow the distractions to float out of your awareness like a passing cloud.  Continue focusing on the task at hand.  Remind yourself that there is nothing to fear.  Focus on being productive, not being busy.
9. Shift your perspective.  Mix things up.  Take a walk.  Move to another room.  Work in a different chair.  Go to the library.  A different location brings a different perspective and clarity.  Just change your view.
10. Breathe.  If you’re feeling anxious or fearful, relax your mind and concentrate on your breath.  It connects you to your center and the present moment.  Keep calm.  Yes, the time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.
11. Make time for quiet.  Listen for guidance.  We avoid getting quiet in order to avoid our problems.  We prefer distraction, busyness and social media.  It’s less painful than admitting we might need to do something different or change.
12. Make a thought list.  Write down the thoughts that are filling your head.  Write down what you need to do, want to do, and should do.  Write down good ideas and distracting thoughts.  Go back to it later and cross out anything that’s not important, helpful or necessary.
13. Share the load.  Give up perfectionism and trying to do everything yourself.  Learn to delegate.  If you can’t afford to hire some help, find a way to barter.  Release your burden and allow others to feel needed.
14. See suffering as a choice.  We create our lives.  We choose to get support or go at it alone.  We decide what to do and when to do it.  We decide when to hang on and when to let go.  Overwhelm is an addiction and an illusion.  We use it to justify an irrational way of living.  (Marc and Angel discuss this in more detail in the “Adversity” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
15. Flip your self-talk from negative to positive.  Do these lines sound familiar?  “I’ll never get this finished.”  “I can’t.”  “What else can go wrong?”  “I have too much on my plate.”  Change your self-defeating thoughts around: “I’ll finish one thing at a time.”  “I’m good enough.”  “What can I learn from this?”  “Tomorrow is another day.”  Overwhelm comes from your thinking.  Manage your self-talk and your feelings will change.
16. Be grateful for what you have now.  Having is about the present moment.  Wanting is about the future.  When your focus is always on what you don’t have now, you’ll never reach a future you’re satisfied with.  And the more you want, the more overwhelmed you’ll feel.
17. Don’t judge yourself.  Give yourself a break.  Let yourself off the hook.  You’re only human.  There’s no need to compare yourself to others.  Own your strengths.  Learn to think well of yourself.  Tomorrow’s another day.
18. Let go of the need to feel important.  We are part of a culture that thrives on feeling important through busy-ness.  We live in a society that chases money and fame.  We have a crazy need to be popular.  It’s a trap that keeps us striving instead of thriving.  It’s a choice that brings on feelings of overwhelm.
19. Make self-care a priority.  If you concentrate on your problems and weaknesses, the world will too.  It believes exactly what you tell it — through the words you use to describe yourself, the actions you take to care for yourself, and the choices you make to express yourself.  Tell the world you are one-of-a-kind creation who came here to experience wonder and spread joy.  And get ready to be accommodated.
20. Commit to a healthy lifestyle.  Exercise energizes you.  Just do it.  Don’t skip meals when you are under pressure.  Choose real food.  Don’t sleep less to get more done.  Sleep brings focus and clarity.  (Read 8 Weeks to Optimum Health.)
21. Do what brings you joy.  Visit your favorite book store or coffee shop.  Call your best friend.  Spend time in nature.  Get a massage.  Take a long walk.  Stop the overwork and overwhelm.  Replace them with joy.
22. Make Sunday a fun-day.  Give yourself a full day for play.  Refill your bucket.  That means catching up on sleep, making time for laughter and fun, and otherwise making time for recovery from the chaos of your routine.
23. Be generous.  Over-tip taxi cab drivers and waitresses when you can.  Volunteer in soup kitchens.  Visit the elderly.  Give to those who can’t pay you back.  Because doing so will free your mind and make you feel incredible, and you’ll be making the world a better place to live in.  Seriously, you have not truly lived until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.
24. Make time to connect with others face to face.  Life is more than text messages and tweets.  Sometimes the message is lost in the medium.  Take digital breaks and spend more time connecting face-to-face and flesh-to-flesh with the people who matter to you.
25. Spend more time with the right people.  As Marc said in 1,000 Little Things, “These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways.  They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.”

Afterthoughts

For the cynics out there who might say that the list of ideas above is too long to reduce overwhelm, there are really only two steps you need to start with:

1. Identify what’s most important to you.
2. Eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else.

And once you get your mind wrapped around this, use the 25 tips above to support your efforts in applying this two-step process to various parts of your life.

The Three Touches

Touch a person with your eyes.  Good eye contact makes a personal connection.

Touch a person with your voice.  People like to hear their name.  Find people doing something right.

Touch a person with your hand.  A pat on the back, a high five or fist bump goes a long way.  There is a reason hospitals bring in dogs to cuddle patients.


Master B

Class Management

1. Set the culture as soon as the student arrives in the room.  Shoes in the rack, bow in and quietly warm up.
2. Belt is tied correctly, stripes on left, uniform crossed correctly or t shirt tucked in.
3. Students sit quietly.  This is how Black Belts wait- patiently
4. Students line up by seniority.  Juniors must always let the seniors line up first for drinks, to kick a bag etc.                          (hu bae-junior member, sun bae-senior member)

The 7 Cs of Communication:

Drs. John Baird and Jim Stull wrote the 7 Cs of Communication, which are widely used today. They aim their advice at written communications. Here I've adapted it for the spoken word.

1.     Clear -  be clear as to your intent; don't make your audience read between the lines, which can lead to confusion and frustration. Be straightforward and fully explain what you mean.

2.     Concise -  less is more. Have you heard of the 80/20 rule? Many folks spend 80 percent of their time explaining things that aren't much value to the audience. So mine the 20 percent of substance and build on it. Don't ramble.

3.     Concrete -  turn your words into pictures.  Use colorful words and images. Lean toward the specific and away from the abstract. You say your product is "better" now? Exactly what does that mean for the customer who will buy and use it?

4.     Correct -  double-check your facts and be careful of plagiarism. If you want to use someone else's quote or material, be sure to attribute it. Also, avoid making sweeping generalities or opinions that have no factual basis. Finally, don't represent your opinions as "facts." That's counterproductive and may turn people off.

5.     Coherent -  connect the dots -  don't make people guess. This goes back to knowing what your audience knows. Don't assume they've read your book, are familiar with your business, or possess advanced business expertise. A key challenge is a mixed audience with a wide band of sophistication. My advice is to start out at a lower level and work your way up.

6.     Complete -  there are all kinds of angles to this one.  Speak in complete thoughts, Don't make your reader guess what they should conclude. Avoid speaking in shorthand and using confusing acronyms.

7.     Courteous -  we do not need to insult others just to make our points. A condescending or arrogant speaker is quickly turned off. An audience is far more likely to warm up to a speaker who is respectful of them. Avoid slang, locker talk, and profanity. It's just not appropriate.

bonus one

8.     Connect  -  engage your audience as much as possible. Open your speech or meeting with a show of hands. Ask your audience questions. Invite their questions. Always use eye contact and look for signs of affirmation that folks are listening. If you see eyes wandering or people sneaking out the door, stop and ask the audience what they want to hear about.

Increase Self Esteem

Dr. Denis Waitley
(excerpted from The Psychology of Motivation)

---

Following are six behaviors that increase self-esteem, enhance your self-confidence, and spur your motivation. You may recognize some of them as things you naturally do in your interactions with other people. But if you don't, I suggest you motivate yourself to take some of these important steps immediately.

First, greet others with a smile and look them directly in the eye. A smile and direct eye contact convey confidence born of self-respect. In the same way, answer the phone pleasantly whether at work or at home, and when placing a call, give your name before asking to speak to the party you want to reach. Leading with your name underscores that a person with self-respect is making the call.

Second, always show real appreciation for a gift or complement. Don't downplay or sidestep expressions of affection or honor from others. The ability to accept or receive is a universal mark of an individual with solid self-esteem.

Third, don't brag. It's almost a paradox that genuine modesty is actually part of the capacity to gracefully receive compliments. People who brag about their own exploits or demand special attention are simply trying to build themselves up in the eyes of others—and that's because they don't perceive themselves as already worthy of respect.

Fourth, don't make your problems the centerpiece of your conversation. Talk positively about your life and the progress you're trying to make. Be aware of any negative thinking, and take notice of how often you complain. When you hear yourself criticize someone—and this includes self-criticism— find a way to be helpful instead of critical.

Fifth, respond to difficult times or depressing moments by increasing your level of productive activity. When your self- esteem is being challenged, don't sit around and fall victim to "paralysis by analysis."

Sixth, choose to see mistakes and rejections as opportunities to learn. View a failure as the conclusion of one performance, not the end of your entire career. Own up to your shortcomings, but refuse to see yourself as a failure. A failure may be something you have done—and it may even be something you'll have to do again on the way to success—but a failure is definitely not something you are.

8 Keys To Building Charisma

1. Mirroring

This simple technique was the inspiration for this article. Mirroring is copying the other person’s physical mannerisms, movements and facial expressions when engaged in a conversation. You become a mirror image of the other person. (seeWikipedia)

Mirroring happens naturally in social interactions, but when you are conscious of it and are aware of its affects, it can be used as a tool in effective communication for generating rapport.

Mirroring someone closely will cause you to feel what they’re feeling (to some extent). I did an exercise once, in a group of three, during a workshop. One person starts by visualizing a scene; seeing, feeling and experiencing the scene. A second person imitates this person’s facial expressions and physical postures. A third person adjusts the second person’s facial expressions and physical postures until he thinks that they are identical. After several minutes, the second person explains what she was feeling. Not only does the second person feel the feelings of the first person, but will at times see what the first person is seeing in his imagination. I was blown away after trying this out, myself.

Next time you’re engaged in a conversation with someone, try mirroring body language, posture, and facial expressions. You will find that the conversation suddenly feels very friendly and open.

For example, you are sitting across the table from someone. You watch them pick up a glass of water with their left hand and gently lean forward, then to the right. You mirror them by holding your glass of water with your right hand, leaning forward and towards the left.

Try it next time … just for fun. :)

2. Remembering Names

Personally, I’m always impressed when others I’ve just met remember my name and use it in a sentence. Since birth, our parents, teachers, friends, and family, have hard wired the sound of our name in our brain. It is certain to get your attention, instantly. It makes you feel important and respected, filling our desire for attention and love.

Recall the last time someone who you just met parted by declaring “Nice to meet you, [insert your name]!” Weren’t you impressed? They are clearly interested in you enough to remember your name, and you want to show them the same respect.

Always make an effort to remember people’s names. Here are some techniques to help you.

3. Be Interested

People love talking about themselves, seriously.

Ask questions that the other person will enjoy answering. If it’s a complete stranger, start with the basics and dig deeper. Rephrase their words to make sure you really understand what they’re saying. You can think of this technique asverbal mirroring. By asking questions about their interests or feelings, you are mirroring their interest in themselves.

Really listen when the person is answering. Only when you are listening will you actually absorb what was said and will actually feel interested. If you run into a boring conversation, find ideas that do interest you and re-focus the conversation. Ask questions. Make it a game.

4. Allowing Others to Talk

In addition to asking questions, it’s important to allow the other person to talk. This means, stop talking. Stop talking about yourself, stop inserting your opinions, refrain from interrupting.

Next time you’re engaged in a conversation, practice not saying anything after asking a question. This might mean not speaking for several minutes *gasp*. Even when the other person appears to be finished, practice not speaking for 30 seconds. Often times, the person is still thinking, is actually pausing, and will start speaking again. By doing so, you will get a lot more depth from that person.

Many girlfriends I know have the interruption problem, myself included. Pay particular attention to this skill, you’ll be amazed at the wealth of thoughtful goodness coming from your partner. Being a patient listener is a great way to connect with and get to know people.

Try it: ask a question and then zip up. Listen and learn.

5. Intention

Send out the intention that you would like to get to know this person better, to really listen to them and to be there for them. I’m always amazed at the power of intention, which I believe is the seed for starting anything, whether it is a goal or a friendship.

Make a wish for the other person. Send out a positive intention for your interaction.

6. Offer Help

We are mostly self seeking and are driven by motivations that benefit us, with the exception of some extreme cases and parent-child relationships. But let’s face-it, we are self-seeking most of the time because it is a natural part of our survival instincts. Even if we are working on a good cause, we almost always have a reason for helping that is personally beneficial.

When others genuinely offer their help, we feel particularly fond of them. Why? Offering help is a kind gesture that implies a respect and admiration for you. And when we put ourselves in their shoes, wouldn’t it be advantageous to offer help to others?

I’m a big believer in giving more than I take in return. And my personal motto: “To get what you want, help others get what they want, first.”

Find a need that others have that you can provide. Offer help. Even just a casual email offering help will make the world of difference towards how this person feels about you.

7. Smile

“Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love,
a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.”
~ Mother Teresa

Do you remember how you felt when you saw a genuine smile? Or awkwardly standing in an elevator full of strangers and suddenly someone smiles at you? It really is contagious and shifts your state to a positive one.

Smile genuinely. Start by smiling at friends. Try lifting the spirits of passing strangers.

8. Authenticity

Any of the above techniques will work by themselves, but become highly effective only when combined with authenticity.

Always be genuine and be your complete self, no more and no less. When you are completely honest and speaking from your heart, you will exuberate a kind of energy that people cannot help but to connect with. In that moment, you are pure, expressive, and radiating your true self. When others see and recognize that side of you, they are really seeing a reflection of that part of themselves.

Just be yourself.

Summary:

1. Mirroring
2. Remember Names
3. Be Interested
4. Allow Others to Talk
5. Intention
6. Offer Help
7. Smile
8. Authenticity

Suggestion For Success